Exit Interview

One tool smart managers use to attract and retain quality employees is the exit interview.

When an employee – especially a good one – leaves, it is important to understand the reasons why. A good exit interview can reveal problems in your management team, your compensation structure, your work environment or your ability to communicate the “big picture” of your organization. Good managers want to know their failures. Sometimes the difference between keeping a quality employee and having to take on the expense of hiring and training someone new may just be simply making sure there is fresh coffee in the break room.

In order for an exit interview to be an effective tool, it is essential to get honest responses. That’s why exit interviews are usually completed by a human resources professional. An exit interview in which a recently separated employee has an ax to grind usually isn’t valuable to anyone, although it does make the former employee feel better. Although burning bridges is never a good idea, sometimes it feels really good.

Depending on how it is used, the exit interview can be a very important and effective tool.

It’s too bad, however, that the exit interview isn’t used in other aspects of our lives, especially in dating. Those of us who have returned to the dating scene after years away are finding ourselves in need of better tools.  As youths, we developed our dating styles to the point where were actually able to convince someone to marry us. When you are young your primary goal is to learn about yourself and the people you want to be with. In middle age, though, time is a little more valuable and who has the energy for all the blind alleys so prevalent in dating? Plus, we’ve forgotten how to date and, furthermore, we didn’t keep up with all the changes. (If I got memos on this, I probably threw them away as being irrelevant.)

When I was reluctantly dropped into the dating scene, I realized that I not only had no idea what I was doing – the last time I had been on a date with in the 20^th Century – but that I would have to learn everything from scratch. As any manager can tell you, the most effective training comes from doing the job with the support of a trainer or supervisor using all the tools at your disposal.

When it comes to matters of the heart, though, the tools available are limited. You can search the internet and read many articles on romance in the 21^st Century, but you will still feel lost. That’s why for us middle-aged folks some of the tools from the business world need to be used. The first thing when getting back out there is that you have to set goals. Are you looking for a new spouse? Are you looking to fool around? Are you looking for a friend but nothing serious? Your goal is important because it will determine how you act and it is important to the people you intend to date.

It is important, though, to admit to yourself that your goals can change. Not matter what, though, you have to be honest with yourself. A little honesty with your dates wouldn’t be a bad thing, either. Anyone who has been through any sort of broken relationship knows that honesty usually takes a back seat. There are the obvious cases of cheating and such, but usually it is just the small things that chip away at trust. Much dishonesty comes from two things – a desire not to hurt someone’s feelings and a desire not to have a difficult conversation.

Having been on both the giving and receiving end of dishonesty you learn one thing – if it doesn’t eventually all come out, suspicions will always linger. This is why information is important. This is why an exit interview could be very helpful.

After a burgeoning relationship of a few months dissolves, it is good to understand the reasons why. How many of us had see something like this and wonder what the heck happened?  If it simple a feeling of noncompatibility, that’s fine. There is no harm in that. However, an exit interview would not only create a record of the break up, but give us information on not only the negative things about the affair, but the positive things as well.

If there is something that I did that turned off someone, I’d like to know about that. With the results of an exit interview, I could determine whether the issue was something I could easily fix for the next person or whether I have a huge character flaw that needs to be addressed.

The Dating Exit Interview could be designed simply based on the same questions asked in business:

1. What circumstances prompted you to start looking for another job date?
2. Under what circumstances, if any, would you consider returning to the company the person you dumped?
3. Do you think management your date adequately recognized employee your contributions? If not, how do you think recognition could be improved?
4. Were there any company policies personality issues you found difficult to understand? How can the firm your date make them clearer?
5. Do you feel your job description expectations about the relationship changed since you were hired started dating, and if so, in what ways?
6. Did you feel you had the tools, resources and working conditions to be successful in your role? If not, which areas could be improved and how?
7. Do you feel you had the necessary training to be successful in your role? If not, how could it have been better?
8. What was the best part of your job here dating experience?
9. What can the organization your date improve on?
10. Do you have any suggestions for improving employee morale?
11. Do you have any concerns about the company your date you’d like to share?
12. Is there anything else you’d like to add?

With technology the way it is, it would add value to online dating sites to require their members to provide exit interviews. Members could have the option of making exit interviews about them public. It would provide an instant reference on their profiles, which adds value to the service by other members. Even if it remains private, it would give members an opportunity to reflect on their behavior and make changes as needed.

Mostly, though, we’d all just like to know what the hell happened.