That Cool, Dry Feeling

It doesn’t take long living on the big, blue marble to realize that our lives are all governed by a series of routines. Some of us are more flexible than others when the routines go off the rails, and still others enjoy shaking things up and have as few routines as possible.

One of the best explanations I read about routine was that we as humans do the same thing time after time – like getting ready in the morning – because by doing a task over and over and over we get into the habit of not even thinking about what we are doing. That means we free our minds to think about more important things. Or in my case, just about anything.

Like talcum powder.

I'm not sure if any of you are like me, but my middle-aged body has some cracks and crevices that tend to get ... moist. And like sitting on Naugahyde - which is uppercased because it is a brand name - human skin does like to stick to itself. I don't seem to remember this problem so much when I was younger, but I hold comfort at a greater value these days.

So, we take care of this discomfort in the best way possible. For me, that was Gold Bond Medicated Powder, which, if you didn't know, is the main ingredient in Old Man Smell. I didn't care for the smell that much, but it neutralizes okay and it did the job it was asked to do. What more can you ask of a powder?

And then ...

Gold Bond changed its formula. Instead of talcum powder it now uses corn starch. It does not work as well and feels a little granular on my skin. You know what I usually use corn starch for? Thickening up gravies and sauces. I think some of you may know where this is heading, so I'll stop right there.

I soon discovered that a person cannot walk into a Walmart anymore and purchase any product made with talcum powder. We are all being saved by corporate America and lawyers.

Talcum powder is made with talc, a mineral composed mainly of the elements magnesium, silicon, and oxygen. Unfortunately, there also was some asbestos in some manufacturers talc, which is probably not a very good thing. Several women who were regular users of the Johnson&Johnson product Shower to Shower developed ovarian cancer. And while there is scant scientific evidence to link talcum powder use to ovarian cancer, that has not stopped lawyers or juries of taking down J&J.

Other companies are worried about this, so they simply changed their talcum powder formula to get rid of talc and replace it with corn starch.

I can appreciate the fear that a product would cause ovarian cancer. I can see the connection. However, I think my danger of getting ovarian cancer is virtually impossible.

Now I have have to order talcum powder online from a company called Monkey Butt, or some such thing. The price is higher and it's inconvenient. The alternative is that I put up with sweaty balls, and no one want that.